I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
