I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
