i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
