Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
