his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
