Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
