I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize