Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
