You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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