why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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