What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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