Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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