You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
