I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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