I feel like abortions should bother me more
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
