I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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