so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
and she was petting her beer can
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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