Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
