I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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