East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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