She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
