she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
