Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
