I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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