don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
