This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
