Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
