I love black thongs
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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