New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
