he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
