you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
