I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I am mentally ready for anal.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
