it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
