I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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