I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
