Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
