discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
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