guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
