normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize