dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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