On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
