Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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