so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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