Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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