It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
