Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
