do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
