so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
