He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
