i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize