your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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