I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
