Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize