I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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