I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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