Cold hands, warm shart.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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