So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
