everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
