Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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