O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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