I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
