my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
