I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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