Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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