mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My pussy is not your playground.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize