just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
