man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
