I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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