so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize